As Black men, the worst thing we can do is ask how we as individuals can solve the Black man vs. Black woman problem when it comes to love. A few days ago, my homegirl Evita posted that quote on her Instagram. While she posted it in relation to what she deemed to be a successful mindset to bring into an individual relationship, recent events opened my eyes to the truism of that statement not just as an ideology for a single couple, but a mantra that desperately needs to be understood throughout the Black community, particularly regarding how we treat one another. It was a message that I really feel Black men need to hear in reference to how we collectively choose to treat Black women. Last weekend, those of us who engage in and follow the actions of witnessed a vicious and viral debate over one familiar, yet unrelentingly inflammatory statement: “men are trash.” Soon after the remark was put out there and started to trend, the typical gender split occurred, arguments heated up and generalizations began flying left, right and center. Black authors, essayists, activists and rappers were all heavily engaged in this war of words between the “be honest about your toxic masculinity” crowd, and the “not all men” lot. It even exploded into T-shirts being offered on a website stating, “Black Women Are Trash.” As with most 140-character debates, the true losers of this battle were nuance, context and mutual respect. For those of us who sat back and morosely observed our men and women tear each other apart online, we found ourselves facing the same troubling and daunting question we’ve been struggling with since forever, “How do we bridge the gap between Black men and women?” But what I’ve come to realize is that’s the wrong question that we as Black men should be asking ourselves. ![]() ![]() ![]()
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March 2018
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